More Questions Than Answers

The Toronto Sun reports that married men are apparently much more attractive to women than single men. Sounds like a recipe for heartbreak to me:

According to a recent study out of Oklahoma State University, the urge to lure away a married man is a real phenomenon known as "mate poaching."

For the study, men and women were asked to describe their ideal romantic partner and were told they'd be computer matched with someone who met their criteria. Half of the participants were told their matches were involved with somebody else, whereas the other 50% believed them to be single.

Here's where things get sticky. When researchers described a man as single, just 59% of the women expressed interest in him, but when he was considered off-the-market, a whopping 90% were eager to get their hooks in.

Men, however, showed no preference for women in relationships.

I never would have expected those results. I honestly would have thought people in general would look for someone unattached so there's fewer complications.


I pointed the story out to a friend of mine at work, and she explained that if a man's married at least one other woman thought he was a good catch and at least he's willing to make a committment. Once a guy gets past a certain age she figures there must be a reason he's still single.


I definitely appreciated her insight but I'm still left with more questions than answers:

Why do women and men think so differently about this?

Aren't women who pursue a married man just setting themselves up for heartbreak?

Shouldn't married men be more aware of this to better guard their hearts and remain faithful?

Is it possible that I'M EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE than I thought? ;P

Common Sense Ruling from California

Almost immediately after Californians voted to amend their state constitution to ban same sex marriage, the decision faced a legal challenge. Now the state Supreme Court has ruled wisely:

It is not our role to pass judgment on the wisdom or relative merit of the current provisions of the California Constitution governing the means by which our state Constitution may be altered. . . . In the absence of an explicit subject-matter limitation on the use of the initiative to propose and adopt constitutional amendments, . . . we conclude the existing provisions of the California Constitution governing amendment and revision cannot properly be interpreted in the manner advocated by petitioners.

So Proposition 8 stands and same sex marriage can no longer be practiced in California.

The ruling is really about democracy. The rules in California clearly stated that the constitution can be amended by majority vote through a state-wide referendum. Maybe that rule is a low standard that makes such a foundational document too easy to change. Maybe that rule makes government more responsive to the needs of its citizens. That's a debate for another day, but the Court ruled wisely in that respect, to decide otherwise would have unilaterally changed the foundations of American democracy and initiated a constitutional crisis.

I welcome this wise decision. I can't say I expected it.

Social Policy in the Election

I haven't blogged much on the election this past week. One big reason is I'm upset at Harper's complete refusal to even let his MPs bring up the topic of abortion. I think it shows a contempt of parliament, and a contempt for many of his supporters, donors and volunteers.

However, I think it's useful to think about the reason he made that claim. Harper felt the need to insulate himself from the claims he has a hidden agenda to radically change Canadian social policy. I just don't understand how that can stick, he's had three years to try to push an agenda and he hasn't done anything.

I understand social policy is divisive and most people would rather just not talk about it. In real life, neither do I. For this reason, the opposition has a lot of incentive to make Harper look like an extremist. After all, it's worked before. The only problem is it's a pile of hooey. If you want to avoid difficult social issues, the only way to vote is Conservative.

The left has plenty of social issues they want to press. Liberal senators are regularly pushing for euthanasia. The NDP and the Greens are for decriminalizing drugs. Further down the line are polygamy and legal prostitution.

As much as I would like him too, Harper is not going to push the abortion issue, but he won't push the other issues either and that's a very good thing.

FACT: Church Going Men Have Happier Marriages

A new research brief from the Centre for Marriage and Families finds that church going men have happier marriages than other men:

For men, 70 percent of husbands who attend church regularly report they are “very happy” in their marriages, compared to 59 percent of husbands who rarely or never attend church. . . In addition, a study of urban relationships found that men’s religious attendance was a better predictor of women’s relationship satisfaction than women’s own religious attendance.

That's huge! In other words 18% (70/59) more church going men (in America) have very happy marriages than men who stay home. Naturally these men had marriages that were more likely to last:

Specifically, data from the NSFH indicate that men and women who attended religious services regularly (several times a month or more) were approximately 35 percent less likely to divorce between 1988 and 1993, compared to their married peers who rarely or never attended religious services. Catholics, Mainline Protestants, and Jews who attended services regularly were especially likely to avoid divorce, compared to churchgoing evangelical Protestants and black Protestants. In all probability, low Catholic divorce rates are linked to Catholic teaching about the importance of marital permanence.

Yay Catholics!

Finally, the research shows that church going men spend more time with their children including helping with group activities:

Compared to dads who say they have no religious affiliation, fathers who attend
church regularly (several times a month or more) devote at least two hours a
week more in youth-related activities, such as helping in Boy Scouts, coaching
soccer, and leading a church youth group.

So men, want a happier marriage? Get to church! Women and mothers want a happier marriage, get your husband to church. The data show he'll thank you for it.

H/T Lifesite News

Catholic Insight Magazine Endorses FCP

A popular Canadian Catholic magazine has endorsed the Family Coalition Party. The FCP has often been considered a fringe party that has had trouble fielding candidates, has never won a seat in the Ontario Legislature, and generally has a percentage of the popular vote that ranks well into the single digits.

In recent elections there's been little reason for anyone except the most passionate family values voters to cast their vote in their direction. Strategic voters may have voted for Mike Harris' Conservative party or for a strong local candidate from another party. The upcoming election is different, no other party holds the slightest promise of advancing family values or offering any protection at all for life or those that are most vulnerable. Father Alphonse de Valk explains:

. . . for the upcoming October 10 election, Catholic Insight sees no choice but to abandon the policy of supporting worthy candidates in all parties. Instead, we will support only the candidates of the small, centrist, pro-people Family Coalition Party. The situation is so bad that it would be inexcusable for us to do otherwise.

As readers know, and as we have explained before, the NDP and the Greens are constitutionally committed to a pro-death, anti-human philosophy. Therefore, they are disqualified from holding office.

The leaders of the Ontario Liberal and the Progressive Conservative parties have now also made it impossible for family-minded Canadians to vote for them.

Since 1967, the federal Liberal Party, from Pierre Trudeau (1968-1984) to Paul Martin (2004-2006), mocked human Reason, Tradition and Religion with anti-family policies sanctioning contraception, divorce, pornography and same-sex 'marriage,' matched only by their pro-death abortion and embryonic stem-cell legislation. More recently, its provincial counterpart, ruling in Ontario again under a renegade Catholic, has adopted the same stand.

The Ontario Conservatives, meanwhile, have been in opposition since 2003. They are still dominated by the so-called Red Tories, to the public acclaim of the Ontario media . . . In February 2005, Ontario’s McGuinty Liberals changed some 70 Ontario statutes in three readings, lasting a total of less than three hours, to conform them to the Ontario Court of Appeal command of June 2003 that from then on, the age-old federal definition of marriage would be unconstitutional. The Ontario PC’s co-operated by refusing to even call for a recorded vote.

Clearly the alternatives are grim with John Tory as perhaps the most disappointing leader of all. Next election it's time to support the FCP with votes, money and hard work. The party's not perfect and they've endorsed the dangerous proposals to move to proportional representation, however, it's run by a core of hard working, sensible and moderate volunteers. Now's the time to lend them our support!

Avoid Depression: Stay Married!

Statistics Canada has once again affirmed the importance of lasting marriages to our society. In its Study on Marital Breakdown and Subsquent Depression Stats Canada found:

• Men aged 20 to 64 who had divorced or separated were 6 times more likely to report an episode of depression than were men who remained married.
• Loss of custody or a change in parental responsibilities is one of the most stressful aspects of post-divorce life for men.
• Women who had undergone a marital break-up were 3.5 times more likely to have had a bout of depression than were their counterparts who were still in a relationship.
• 43% of women who went through a break-up had a substantial drop in their household income.
• Even when taking other related factors into account, the end of a relationship was independently associated with the risk of depression among both sexes.
• The study found that most people who experienced depression in the post-relationship period were no longer depressed four years after the break-up. But for a sizeable minority, depression remained a problem.

The study focussed on married couples, but it would make sense that the same negative factors would be in play with long term unmarried relationships. The only difference is that those unmarried relationships are considerably less stable so the risk of depression is that much greater.

The bottom line is long term stable marriages are good for everyone. If you're married stay that way. If you're a law maker stop messing with marriage it's way too important to our society.

I'm an Uncle!

My baby sister had a baby! Charles Wayde Zelch was born around 10:00 last night. Just call me uncle Patrick!