Americans - Why are you SO cynical?

I just recently returned from Ireland a week ago Sunday. I was scheduled to return on Saturday but my flight was cancelled. I was scheduled to fly with Delta Airlines from Dublin to New York JFK to Toronto Pearson. I only have a few complaints relating to the inconveniences of numerous line ups, getting a hotel room and then being denied boarding on the next day's flight. The really bizarre part of the whole ordeal was the reaction of the other passengers.

It started as one of the airline personnel went up and down the line explaining the situation. Apparently there is only one flight per day and the flight crew wasn't trained to operate the plane that landed. I listened and moved on to asking questions about the next flight, our hotel room and other practical questions. The other passengers seemingly without exception insisted on pushing their various conspiracy theories. They were convinced that the airline was hiding something and believed that there had to be another reason that the flight was cancelled.

In various line ups I tried my best to explain my logic. I said the airline had no incentive to lie to us, stupid mistakes happen, and I was quite certain the airline wouldn't voluntarily take on all the extra expenses associated with cancelling a flight. But my efforts were fruitless - it didn't matter who I talked to, the other passengers remained convinced we were being lied to.

To my American readers, can you please offer any insight as to why your compatriots would find it so hard to trust in such a simple straight forward situation?

The Food Post

Food is highly personal and we all need to eat something so it makes sense that it would be a hot topic. I just did a Google Blog search and found more than 71 million blog posts about food. Truth be told I'm pretty much fed up with people telling me what to eat, a few examples come immediately to mind.

Last night the lady cutting my hair said we shouldn't drink milk because we're the only animal in the world that drinks milk from another species or drinks it as an adult. Ugh - newsflash - we're not like 'other animals.' No other animals plant their own crops, raise their own livestock, or even trade different types of food. What silly logic.

Of course there are the militant vegans. Last week, the Globe and Mail gave front page coverage to that extremism in an article titled, "Is any meat OK to eat?" The article is full of bizarre assertions about animals such as, "We don't think it's right to create animals that can't reproduce sexually." The only animal I've heard of that doesn't reproduce on it's own is a donkey, and I've never seen that on a plate.

I think of my friend, affectionately known as French Fry because of her pretty clear food preference. Everyone seems to take an opportunity to make fun of her food choices, but she looks perfectly healthy to me. My only goal is to match calorie intake with usage close enough that I don't turn into a butterball. That seems to be working too.

I'm quite tired of the silliness and would prefer to be left alone to eat what I want. Unfortunately the debate seems to have been ranging for quite some time. But the good news is previous generations often figured it out.

The stoic philosopher Epictetus felt he had to address it saying, "Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you, and be silent." Sound advice there. More than 100 years ago Mark Twain made a similar observation, "Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

Even today there are people who get it. Max Fisher wrote earlier this year, "My mistake--and the mistake of anyone bothered by the diets of others--is placing an objective value judgment on what a person chooses to eat and not eat." Right on.

The most definitive answer to the question, "what should I eat?", probably comes from the Bible. St. Peter says:

I looked into it and saw four-footed animals of the earth, wild beasts, reptiles, and birds of the air. Then I heard a voice telling me, 'Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.' "I replied, 'Surely not, Lord! Nothing impure or unclean has ever entered my mouth.' "The voice spoke from heaven a second time, 'Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.' Acts 11:6-9

I won't argue with the Big Guy. Maybe I'll have a cheese burger for breakfast.

Newfoundlanders Fight Back

I've just returned from a vacation to Newfoundland. The Newfoundlanders have a great sense of humour - some of them certainly tell the best Newfie jokes. On the Island I found out they're pretty good at laughing at the rest of us too. Here are two examples. A Newfie told me:

A group of American tourists in Newfoundland went down to the harbour to buy some fresh lobster, but they didn't know how to cook them they asked the Newfies what to do. The Newfies said boil some water and throw in the lobster. So the Americans lit a big fire on the beach put a big pot on top and let it boil. When it was time to throw the lobsters in the Americans just couldn't bring themselves to kill the lobsters so they ran up the hill and released the lobsters in the forest.

But it's not just Americans the Newfies poke fun at. Driving through Gander I heard this advertisement on the radio:

Toronto used to be a great city . . . It used to have the world's tallest free standing structure, now it's the second tallest. . .

It used to be a clean city now they can't even handle their garbage. . .

They used to have a good hockey team, but the Maple Leafs haven't won a Stanley Cup in over 40 years. . .

Toronto needs your help . . .

Fly direct to Toronto from Gander International Airport.

Aside from the humour and the genuinely friendly people, it's a great vacation spot. There's breath taking scenery every where you go, a rich history, amazing wildlife on land and at sea and great parties. Plan a visit sometime.

I Want to be a Good Man

I've stumbled upon the phrase "a good man" a few times in the last year - it was used in key moments during the movie Fire Proof and the 1970s version of the Poseidon Adventure. I'm coming to realize that the phrase really is powerful.

It hit me over the head when a friend of mine casually said, "you're a good man." I smiled and moved on, but inside I was bursting with pride. That conversation was months ago and I still feel good when I think about it. The beautiful thing about the phrase is it's a general endorsement of your entire character. In it's purest sense it's probably impossible to be truly good, I've got more than my share of embarrassing faults, but in a lesser sense of displaying integrity and generosity it's certainly something to strive for.

This song, "A Good Man" from Emerson Drive is going to be my theme song for the day tomorrow:



These are my favourite lyrics in the song:

My dreams aren’t that complicated…

I wanna be the one When all is said and done

Who lived a good life, loved a good wife, and always helped someone in trouble

On the day they lay me down I want everyone to gather ‘round

And say he was a father, brother, neighbour and a friend

He was a good man!

Yeah, me too.

Happy Music, Happy Faces

Here's an interesting study that shows listening to cheerful music makes people think others look happier. The Telegraph reports:

In the tests, the volunteers listened to 15 second clips of music and their reactions to photographs of a variety of faces were recorded.

Results showed that happy music "significantly enhanced the perceived happiness of a face." Further studies of the volunteers' brain waves revealed that the effect of the music was almost instantaneous. It took just 50 milliseconds for changes to take place – too fast to be under our conscious control.

Similarly, listening to depressing music made sad faces appear more miserable.

It's pretty intuitive. I think of Christmas when we're inundated with cheerful carols and it really does seem everybody is happier. I do think it's remarkable how quickly the volunteers responded to the music and how the study seems to demonstrate that the changes in perception happen subconsciously.

It tells me that we have a lot more control over our emotions than we think, we can choose how we want to feel toward others just by choosing the right music! Time to look through my CD library.

He's Walking

Back in February I wrote about my grandfather's (I call him Opa) struggle to recover from his stroke and that I would make praying for him a priority. Well I'm pleased to say he's walking, at least we were walking together briefly on Easter Sunday.

It was only the second time I saw him since his stroke and all I heard were mostly negative reports from my family about his ability and that he had zero strength in his legs. As far as I know he wasn't receiving any physiotherapy. However, I kept up praying that he would walk again consistently, most evenings and every time I went to Mass.

His children were scared to let him walk, but when I saw him rocking back and forth in his wheelchair, trying to get up, I convinced them that there would be no danger if one of us picked him up on either side. As soon as he was up, he had reached for his wife's walker and started leading us around the house, there was almost no weight on my hands as we walked around the house. Later when it was time to leave he got up again and walked with us to the car - he even walked down the rather steep stairs at the entrance to the house.

I'm really proud of him. Maybe he just had more strength than we gave him credit for. Maybe the hint of spring gave him more energy. Maybe he wanted to show his entire family what he was capable of. Probably it's a combination, but I'm certain the largest part of his success is God's answer to our prayers and for that I'm very thankful!

Negative Ads Are More Effective Than We Think

According to a Globe and Mail poll 65% of respondents said personal attacks on politicians only influence their view of the person making the attack. 18% said it influenced both their view of the attacker and the politician being attacked. Surprisingly only 2% of people said it influenced their view of the person being targeted exclusively.

I can't believe these results. Last year's 'Not a Leader' advertisements targeting Stephane Dion were brutally effective. I can't think of any Canadian who wouldn't say that Dion was ineffective and lacking leadership skills. Sure he was partly responsible for this, but I don't believe the image would have stuck if the Tories hadn't first defined him with those advertisements.

I'll agree that my sense of fair play kicks in the first time I see a negative ad or hear someone make an attack. If I perceive it as unfair, I will hold it against the aggressor. But if we hear the message it will still sink in and consciously or not we'll be on the look out for new information that supports or contradicts the charge.

How much do political attacks influence us? I'm not sure, but based on the polling data - it's a safe bet they influence us more than we know.

He's NOT Plugged In!!!

I'm not sure where to start. My Opa (grandfather) was a healthy, vibrant man in his late 80's, who until just a few years ago would bike to his aqua fit class. Eventually he gave up the classes but he kept his bike and had adjusted to apartment life with my Oma (grandmother) in a retirement complex. Unfortunately, a few weeks before Christmas Opa had a stroke, and he remained in the hospital over Christmas. He finished his treatments at the hospital, but he wasn't able to walk, so he had to move into a nursing home, separate from my Oma.

From what I've seen and heard, he's not entirely happy. He feels like his new nursing home is a prison, and he misses his wife intensely. When his children come to visit, he often gets angry or refuses to speak if they won't take him out of his nursing home, and sometimes he just stares off into space without answering a question. Worst of all, in a family of card players, he will now play his cards out of turn, and take a trick that he hasn't won.

He tries to walk, but he just doesn't have the strength yet. I understand it's just a strength issue and maybe a pain issue, but that he may be able to walk if he continues his physiotherapy. So I've been praying for him, but not especially intensely my grandparents have had their challenges before and they've always bounced back. I've just assumed it would only be a matter of time until he was walking and would be allowed to move back in with his wife.

Last Saturday, at a birthday party for my Oma, I was shocked by some of the comments. First off, Opa wasn't there because the party was at his old retirement complex, and nobody wanted to take him back to the nursing home after, because there would be too much of a fight. I was disappointed, but I reluctantly agreed - I didn't want that fight either. As the afternoon went on, most of our conversation was about Opa, naturally everyone was sad about his situation. But I couldn't believe the emerging consensus opinion was it would have been better off if he died, I disagreed but felt hey - my aunts and uncles deserve to deal with this in their own way.

Then someone said, maybe we should just pull the plug . . . "HE'S NOT PLUGGED IN!!!!" I exclaimed. Fortunately that helped move the conversation along, but it was a wake up call. Since then I've been keeping Opa in mind and praying more intensely.

You Always Have a Choice

Today I've gained a new pet peeve. Twice today I heard the expression I/You don't have a choice. In both cases it was simply not true and I immediately identified other choices.

First someone made a poorly thought out and rashly arrived at decision. I listed other choices but their response was basically, "I don't want to know what the other choices are." My second conversation was more balanced where one option had obvious strengths over the other.

Either way it simply was not accurate to say there wasn't a choice. 'I don't have a choice' can mean 'I really don't like the other options,' or 'I've already decided' or many different things but it never actually means there is no other choice.

I'm reminded of the famous 1984 election debate between Brian Mulroney and John Turner. Wikipedia describes the debate as follows:

Turner had planned to attack Mulroney over the patronage machine that the latter had allegedly set up in anticipation of victory. He launched what appeared to be the start of a blistering attack on Mulroney by comparing his patronage machine to that of the old Union Nationale in Quebec. However, Mulroney successfully turned the tables by pointing to the recent raft of Liberal patronage appointments. He demanded that Turner apologize to the country for making "these horrible appointments."

Turner replied that he "had no option" except to let the appointments stand.

Mulroney famously responded: “You had an option, sir. You could have said, 'I am not going to do it. This is wrong for Canada, and I am not going to ask Canadians to pay the price.' You had an option, sir — to say 'no' — and you chose to say 'yes' to the old attitudes and the old stories of the Liberal Party. That sir, if I may say respectfully, that is not good enough for Canadians.”

Turner froze, and could only repeat, "I had no option."

Mulroney called Turner's admission "an avowal of failure" and "a confession of non-leadership." He told Turner, "You had an option, sir. You could have done better." The exchange led most of the papers the next day, with most of them paraphrasing Mulroney's counterattack as "You had an option, sir — you could have said 'no.'"

The result of course was that Brian Mulroney formed the biggest majority government in Canadian History. It's worth remembering there's always a choice.

Truly Shameful Actions

Here's an excellent post about the people who trampled a WalMart employee to death last Friday. Cory Heildeberger has a way with words and sums up my thoughts exactly:

The facts: about 2000 bargain hunters lined up at the Valley Stream Wal-Mart on Long Island in the wee hours Friday morning. They started pushing, busted the doors open a few minutes early, and trampled Mr. Damour to death. The sale-crazed shoppers put four other people in the hospital, including a pregnant woman. The rushing crowd also pushed aside workers who tried to assist Damour and others. Minutes later, when the store announced everyone had to leave due to the death and injuries, shoppers complained that they had been in line since Thursday morning and kept shopping.

The meaning: this is what unbridled consumerism gets us. 2,000 people participated in mass murder... or murder by the savage masses. 2,000 people killed a man, not for justice, not in some understandable (excusable?) panic from fire or flood, but for greed. It is sufficiently idiotic that in their burning desire to accumulate more cheap plastic junk from China, these Long Islanders—these fellow Americans—sacrificed sleep, family time, and even in some cases the entire Thanksgiving holiday. But Friday morning, they sacrificed a life, and their own humanity.

I truly hope that all those responsible take time to reflect on the gravity of what they've done. They are responsible for killing someone because of their selfishness. Unfortunately they probably won't, if they were disposed to reflection they would have been spending the time giving thanks for what they already had. Those of us who are disposed to personal reflection have an opportunity examine our own consciences even if we didn't stampede anyone. I can think of an example from just a few weeks ago where I was ready to jostle my way into the line to get on an airplane before my wife said no it's pointless.

Lord, help me be more courteous and forgive me for the times when I have let my selfishness make me less of a person.

Is That Really the Way to Measure Happiness?

I read an article today that claimed women are less happy at mid life than men. The Ottawa Citizen Reports:

The researchers looked at several decades of surveys that asked what people wanted out of life and which of those things they had. Happiness, Ms. Plagnol said, is determined by measuring the difference between the two -- in other words, whether or not people have what they say they want.

After controlling for year of birth and demographics such as race and education, the authors specifically looked at two areas: family life and finances.

"Virtually all studies agree that family life and finances are among the most important in determining happiness," the study reads.

Financial happiness was determined by how many of 10 big-ticket consumer goods -- including a car, a TV, a vacation home and a pool -- people had that they also considered part of a good life.

So if I understand this properly, if I say I want a big house, a beautiful wife, a fancy car, and lots of kids and I have all those things, then the study authors pronounce me "happy." If I have 3/4 I must be 75% happy. Presumably if I have none of those things, the authors would categorize me as miserable. This is the logic that allows Anke Plagnol one of the study authors to conclude: "Aspirations of men and women are similar later in life, but women attain less."

I can certainly see how the study results are interesting, but is that really the way to measure happiness? It sounds a lot like a materialist trap that says I will be happy if only I have more stuff. Unfortunately, that's just not true! More stuff doesn't make you more happy even if you think that it will.

I recommend all happiness experts go out and buy a copy of the Veggie Tales classic Madame Blueberry. They'll learn that "being greedy makes you grumpy -- but a thankful heart is a happy heart!"

Watch What you Eat

It happens to me every Easter season, I bite into something that looks a lot like chocolate and I need to spit it out immediately. I've learned the lesson again this year:

'Chocolate' or 'Chocolaty' Confection is not Chocolate!

I don't know what the difference is. My suspicion is that Chocolate is made by companies like Hershey, Neilson, and Cadbury, while chocolate confection is made by companies like Lux, and Palmolive.

From what I understand the key ingredient is cocoa butter rather than cheap vegetable oil. Look for it. If you're going to eat something that's not that good for you, it should at least taste good.

Iranian Muslim Hitchhiker

Here's something for the "It goes to show what I know file:"

I picked up a hitch hiker today. He was very polite and grateful. He told me that he was Iranian and had two daughters, Michelle and Maria. He named Maria after the virgin Mary. He noticed the rosary on my review mirror, and said many people have these in Iran. I was surprised, but he said that there are about 70% of the population is muslim and that about 10% is Christian and another 10% is Jewish. He told me that he was a muslim, but that Jesus and the virgin Mary were very close to his heart. He said that there were 124,000 prophets from Adam through to Mohammed, and he seemed to geniunely believe that being muslim was somehow an extension of Christianity. Sometimes, he even goes to the Catholic Church to worship. He served for 3 years in the Iranian military during the Iran – Iraq war 2 years because of conscription, but he volunteered for the third year. He said he would gladly join the Canadian military if he was called to because Canada is his country now.

Can anyone shed some light on this?

Downsizing Sucks

Friday my company dismissed 25% of our staff. It had to be done, the Canadian pork industry is in dire straits and cost cutting is just reality. Still there's no two ways a about it, downsizing sucks.

This is the first time downsizing has really hit me so close, and it's hard to describe everything that I'm feeling. The closest word has got to be grief. I've lost a lot of good friends who I didn't see this morning. In some cases, I might not see them again. It's going to take a little bit of time to come to terms with that loss.

I think of my friends who did lose their jobs. We were a close group and they've basically lost that entire social network. We'll still get together, but the relationship will have changed because we won't be experiencing the same struggles.

It's also easy to get angry and start second guessing the management. (When will people realize the world will be a better place when I run it? ;) But all that can be done now is to pick up the pieces and move on. In the meantime, downsizing sucks.